in the computer lab 2 now. finished doing the survey knowing what occupation matches us well with both our abilities and interest. i had alot results and had to write 3 on a piece of paper given.

i wrote...
1) manager,hotal
2) counsellor
3)artiste

the first one is what i want to do when i get out to work. i dont know but i just have alot of interest in hotal businesses.

went to friendster and browsed around. wanted to look at his face again but i saw him and her. doing things that we never did.

they put up photos of them, they kiss, they hold hands, they hug, they cook and eat together, they play sisscors paper stone and hei bai chey together, he writes mushy testimonials to her, she writes she'll love him forever.

something like: i love hgf (of course she writes in full. =/)

so many times...

i can do that too. but i wasnt allowed, i couldnt because it's all too late.

='[

i just wanted to hold your hand... again.

;i am afraid


monday was dead. all blues, all painful. did push ups, sit ups and running, but fun. played alot, laughed like mad with yixuan and samuel. we ran with our bodies real straight and real showoff of our boobs. someone thought that we are imitating her. for goodness's sake!! you admitted this yourself. what a joke.

then theres this sec5 builingling.

WAHAHA!!

she pushed lynn and shouted at yixuan then they went to her classroom to talk to her. she shout shout and shout at the top of her lungs, with another bitchy girl telling us to go home study for our N when she needs to even study harder for her O. how shameful playing with the sec3s.

hmm, maybe we are better off as sec5s then them. o.o

whatever.

lessons as usual for today, nothing much happened except for the whoever's blog's incident. justin called me out during the recess assembly and talked with azah.

how pathetic!!

she was the damn one wanting to settle this on our own and in the end, acting innocent, being all cocky and told teachers about this. hello?! you fucking wrote about me first. you are just scared of showing your pathetic lil' blog because you said stuff about the teachers as well.

ah... if you ever come across this and it becomes a topic among this incident then you would deny. i know i know. haha!

open up your blog lah! then you got nothing to say. but you are so scared so you restricted your shit! oh my god i have nothing to say anymore. i just cant believe you can make up stories that well. you get what you deserve one day. i'll just stand by and watch free show. (:

sat at the canteen with rui jie, lene jie, huiying and jackson after school waiting for choir to the auditorium. why i never know him earlier? he freaking saw the op necklace before. but its such a long time ago when i had it. haiis. anyway, talked crap and then sat with net for awhile. he sat in front of me. =/ why at this time? why is it that coincident? i cant stop myself. arghs. o.o

the auditorium was really hot at first, rehersal was a disaster, everyone was talking and making noises. spoils mood alot because we wanted it successful. judith also said we behaved not that well. the singing was okay but the hall was small.

went meet up with fabian and saw derick with bl. went long john together and then went home.

its really tiring lah and we still have to perform tomorrow early in the morning during reading time. well, the concert's on friday anyway. wish us luck (:

going to bed real soon. waking up at 53o tmr.

-.-

hey, fabian? i hope you are going to see this anyway. actually, i dont like you anymore. including him. you should know who im referring to. so im not trying to lie to you or what. im really sorry. i hope we are still friends. i hope you wouldnt stop talking to me even though i couldnt bring myself to be with you anymore. i still want you as a friend. im really sorry. please tell me how you feel after you read this. i still care because you are my friend. dont make me hate you. i dont. i love you as a friend, as someone who would care like how your good friends will. please understand that love is selfish, its unpredictable. i couldnt bring myself to tell you all these in my own words from my mouth. i couldnt face you because you may think bad of me. please dont cry if it hurts you so much, it'll hurt me as well. i dont want that. im really really sorry.

;i am afraid


maybe... there are sometimes i think of blogging as a chore. hey just think about it, after the bad encounters you had for the day, you have to sit down, go through it all over again just to write all the shit. aint it killing? i cant bear to put myself in the situation anymore. i only had 2 entries for february and that sucks. i must have missed out alot because i can be really absent minded. my memory sucks if you really know me then you would know. and, i couldnt spare time for it but hey, life's real short. you'll never know when you are gonna just die and be forgotton. im no famous shit but im still someone. so i promise i'll write more often.

so...

my house finished renovation few days ago and everything was... expensive. i dont know lah. no comments to the folks but its... you know.

had sports day on thursday and i woke up early in the morning and met up with lynn, fer, sam, jun and kelvin... and... maybe some others i've missed out, to the stadium. its so dreadful as i've never participated in any events since secondary.

choir got second in the inter-cca event and there were little incidents that happened. it was so embarrassing for them okay. for example, it was suppose to be adam getting the best male runner for sec4/5 but ms thia made it all wrong by announcing it was ben ho. then they corrected the mistake and ben along with adam went back to the front and gave the trophy back to the rightful owner shaking hands. i think its hilarious. but the climax was when they were announcing the best class. some heard 3e4 and some heard 2e4. the exact class was the 2e4 class and junhong not knowing the situation came out to shake hands with the guest of honour after he pulled his shirt up to cover his head like some football fanatic. everyone laughed loud at him and he walked back covering his face. wahaha. xD some unforgettable sport day, with no class t-shirt for 3 straight years. pathetic.

i forgot where i went after the sports day. slacked with fer and lynn for awhile at cwp then i headed home with him. only wanted him to wait for me in my room but my dad came home early and shouted at him. couldnt go out after that, stayed at home the whole day. everyone was in bad mood. i dont know why but i heard that his first impression sucked. great eh?

went to school all tired out. art was a disaster because i couldnt concentrate at all. sketching was dreadful due to the dying battery in me then physics killed me. my shirt got dirtied by fucking chilli, so chinese was shit. we were throwing paper planes, heck cared homework. left school in a rush. couldnt bear the boredom and decided to go out around evening time. dad got angry about this, i got so angry about fabian because of what happened at cwp. wont go further into this, spoils the day really. got home late and momma was angry, had blue blacks, shouldnt say much as well.

it was a disaster yesterday at school. it was full dress rehersal and so many people were late, the hair was really ugly to judith and shes was really angry about it. but its quite good overall lah. no big mistakes. but the bukit batok costume was abit like our backdrop so we got really worried. oh my god, imagine shimmering blue top on you. =/

i endured the whole session till 2 and went for lunch, reach home late and joseph was there. we got bored played o2jam and went for dinner together with my family. what else could i ask for? i dont know.

stayed at home today. went online, ate all i can and watched tv till i went giddy. thats all. tried getting in o2jam but its all full. fucktards occupy every other room. fuck.

got tagged by emilene jie, telling me to write about 7 point of my perfect lover. here goes...

1. ultimately not sentive, listens and understands
2. cares for and dotes on me
3. love me the most, only me and all about me (:
4. walks me home from tiring school
5. hilarious, never turns me down
6. never break promises
7. never lie to me

i'll be like rui jie and write more. i have more to write.

- comes all the way to my house to pass me my birthday present
- be the first one i can turn to when im feeling really down
- celebrates his birthday with me, not his friends
- holds my hand tight when im cold and when we finish watchin movie.

how i hope i can see that all the points mentioned were being seen from him. but theres wasnt enough time for me to see all these clearly from him, im not able to know he'll be someone like this.


i miss this...


i dont know what iajsbblb means, what ddsgglg means, what gin & rin means. how i wish i'm the one who gets to do all these with you. =/ someday, i hope i'll get to talk to you again. like how you will talk to her. i envy her, really. i just wanna feel like your friend again.

;i am afraid


IM LOST!! OH NO!! WHERE'S MY FREAKING CALENDER? SOMETHING I NEED TO DEPEND ON FOR NOT WANTING TO FORGET ANYTHING? ARGHS! I CANT SEE!

okay im really angry. all these moving of furnitures and stuff has made my calender gone to somewhere which i have no idea of. pardon me for not having a good sense of date. i dont know what i did on which date but at least i know what i did. at least.

looks like im too dependent on my calender. gosh. =/

you must be wondering why i blog at times like this.

1) couldnt sleep. DEAREST havent call me. havent wrote a single entry for the past few days.
2) was really busy in the day, choir+moving stuff around+fixing internet connections.
3) i promised DEAREST.

but, im really tired to talk about outings. i'll probably die lacking rest. i woke up at around 8 in the morning. i promise i'll update asap. =/

i want my calender back!! o.o

;i am afraid


back. yes.

HEY, IM BUSY AND TIRED LAH OKAY! =p

just to continue the previous entry. went out with DEAREST to celebrate SAMUEL's birthday. stopped at vista kitchen at first. arguing about where they wanna go. eugene wanted marina.

too far.

samuel wanted jurong point (i think o.o) or majority wanted that place so we hopped on cabs.

walked around, shopped, stopped by a kinda fastfood lookalike japanese restaurant and sat down. i was really really upset because he went away for other stuff then left me alone. not say practically alone because there's still lynn and the others.

it sucks when you have to eat alone and see 2 good friends in front you doing the mushy mushy i feed you, you feed me scene okay. worst of all, you have no one to hug! especially your DEAREST!! how disheartening. my mood was really brought to the end. spoils the whole day. i thought i shouldnt have went out.

was... really... angry. haha! i said i WAS okay. not anymore. (:

we proceed on to the 'wulu' pool centre. i also dont know how to put it. its just deep deep inside somewhere. =/ so me and DEAREST went off the bus first as the guys were really noisy. they followed every action or every movement we did. but this made us walk such a freaking distance. ARGHS!

dont ever think its romantic lorh okay. try romantic when your feet is already burning in or on your shoes, walking for a god damned 20 minutes or so. o.o

being how zi lian us girls can be, we took photos. of course. (:

but i look extremely ugly. i look constipated. i look sick. i look FAT.







cant bear to say goodbye to DEAREST but always had to. =/ kissed him goodbye, get on cab and proceeded home.

;i am afraid


haven't been updating for donkey years. i know i've said this in all my entries. for some donkey times.

hee-hor!!

since our breakup on valentine's, i've not had peace from him, almost not. so stressed up, not knowing what to do. gosh i just hope he wasnt like that from the start. i hope nothing bad happened between us at all then we'll stay on together till i dont know when. 1 year, 1o years...

i dont know.

i just want the good side of him. not anything bad like the fucked up temper. i'm someone who cant stand abit of attitude like those. crap why cant he understand?

so many incidents happened in just a short period. good and bad. my momma bought me guess? watch already.

had class bbq but was lazy to write all about it. anyway, it kinda sucked. i just remember xiao lin and angela teaching me how to work with bicycle and the rollar blades. i sucked. jia jun was fantastic. =/

then i kena suspended for sleeping in class on the 23th of feb. i remember it so clearly because its all out of point. you get punished that hard for sleeping? so anyway, karmen and i ran outta class to slack and got caught by quek. then suspended the 2nd time. considered out of point again. i dont know. sucked. but mr chan was nice though, talked bout ms thia and all the bad stuff we can say. yes, she can go to hell anytime and i don care. goodness sakes! xD

my younger girl cousin was born on the 5th of march. yeah! finally a girl! (for your info, i have only one girl cousin in my family and we dont talk alot)

HAHAHA! i can make her a vain pot like me already. how nice!! (:

i've always wanted a younger sibling i can doll up with! then she can wear my clothes, i can teach her make up skills i know. girl stuff and blah blah blah... cant wait till she grow up! =D

was really tired the next day then decided to go home although i was already on my way to school. such a dread! turned back then daddy saw me. yeah, and he called my mummy. and oh yeah she called school because i told her it was a bitch at school who send me home. anyway, i dont wanna mention names. especially her okay. i just hate her! since the day she threw my necklace away... arghs! i dont wanna start.

detention was given but i went to mr justin. telling him i wasnt feeling very well then he was the one who said i can skip it! mr molee approved as well but she! insisted i should freaking freaking go!

HAHAHA! BITCH! MAKES ME LAUGH! HOW I WISH I CAN CURSE HER RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW BUT IM NOT ALLOWED TO! THE SCHOOL MIGHT FREAKING SUSPEND ME AGAIN! CUPPISH? =D HOW NICE! I HATE MY SCHOOL!

anyway, should move on...

went to the movies with DEAREST on tuesday. (: but din manage to take any photo. ate mosburger and watched big momma's house 2. darn funny can? the andrew baby in there so cute! =D kAwaiI nEhxX!! im sounding so much like a twit! slap me! oh ya, he also treat me to ben&jerry's. simply finger lickin' good! now im trying to advertise for KFC! im think im going insane soon. gosh. think i've grown fat already. thats what DEAREST said. (:

DEAREST send me home, we dragged time like how couples normally do. (: i love him! yes yes yes!!

i meet up with my DEAREST again the following day. =D i miss him so much already. hahaha~

(i'll update again for this entry, be it the words or the photos cause im really tired typing. crap i dont know how people blog everyday like twice a day. darn!)

*wave wave* (:

;i am afraid